﻿Invader Zim and That Fiery Cupy Thingy
by twinfrodo
Summary: Invader Zim and Harry Potter Crossover! Dib and Gaz are accepted to Hogwarts during Harry's 4th year with Zim hot on Dib's tails finding out about the Goblet of Fire and plots to attain the cup to help him in his conquest of Earth.
1. Chapter 1

Invader Zim and That Fiery Cupy Thingy

Chapter One: The Owls.

The great Irken Invader Zim (at least that's what he thinks) stood in front of the house of his most dreaded enemy, the Earth child Dib watching ever quietly... "OHHHHHH! HI BIRDY!" Gir his faithful (well mostly), yet stupid (really stupid) robotic assistant screeched as an owl passed by.

"GIR! We are spying on the enemy haven't I told you the most important part of spying?"

"Oh yeah..." Gir paused and then, "DO THE DONUT DANCE!" Gir then started to roll on the ground in a circle all the while making a sound of excitement that could be heard.

"NO DONUT DANCE! FORGET THE DONUT DANCE! Gir while spying on the enemy we must use stealth and sneakiness." Zim said as he pulled out a huge alien device out of his pocket. " Now help me carry this so we can put it on top of the Dib's FILTHY house."

"Ohhh but I wanted to do the donut dance."

"Gir, maybe in your SHEER STUPIDITY you have discovered quiet the problem."

" The Donuts are invading the Earth."

"No!... well maybe, but look at all of the filthy earth meat birds that are surrounding the Dib's home."

"Maybe Dib's throwing a party. I like parties can we go?"

"No Gir we do not party with the enemy, the only partying that will be done is when I ZIM am made ruler of all humans."

" Ohh that's never goin' happen. I am never going to party." Gir said while a few drops of tears fell from his ovular eyes.

* * *

"SON! You've got mail, lots of mail and there seems to be a loud of it for you to Gaz!" Porf. Membrane said as his two kids the Mysterious Mysteries buff Dib and the temperamental Game Slave addict Gaz entered the room.

"Oh is it from the online shop at Mysterious Mysteries I ordered their special on the bigfoot lock ness monster baby. Apparently they had a simple service and had children right after. " Dib said all to mater of factly.

"That is so wrong... Besides I thought bigfoot married the yeti of Backwater." Gaz said first being enraged and then showing an odd interest.

" That was such a cruel break up."

"No they seem to all be from something called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry... Your not trying to raise the living dead again are you boy?" Membrane asked.

"No... well yesterday their was that incident with the mutant zombie dogs. WAIT! Hogwarts... School... of..of... Witch... I've heard of them it's a school in England that Mysterious Mysteries has hinted to its mighty existence... It's real! REAL! " Dib said as he started to laugh manically.

"Oh them again. They've tried to contact me all summer." Gaz said as Dib's expression fell.

"WHAT! GAZ you've had an invitation to go to school at the prestige the aw inspiring Hogwarts and you didn't say a word."

"I thought it would be funny... I was right."

" Can we go dad ever since I cast that spell on Gaz that made her taste pork I've been itching to become a wizard, think of it I'll be Dib the Blue, then Dib the Brown and then."

"Dib the annoying." Gaz interrupted.

"PLEASE!"

"I suppose, but you will have to take your sister with you and you may not, I repeat may not, raise the living dead."

"Awww do I have to go with him?"

"Yes, someone needs to keep an eye on him to keep him from doing the unthinkable. Besides it will be a chance for you to make friends and develop social skills."

"But I don't want social skills."

"Well we don't always get what we want, now you must go and clean up all the owl poop that came with your letters."

"Think Gaz, now I can have a weapon against Zim to save the human race and finally be respected and admired for my ingeniousness." Dib said as he and Gaz walked out the door to find a mass of owls perched on their porch.

"Do you think they'll teach me how to make people's heads go away?"

"Probably not."

"I GUESS that'll be OK or SOMETHING."

* * *

"Did you here that Gir Hogwaxs cool of Wilting and Knitting."

"That's not what they said."

"BE QUIET! Gir we must follow the Dib, for we don't know what kind of sweaters he will knit (Gasp) or what he'll be wilting."

"That makes no sense."

"Oh but we too will learn how to knit oh and what sweaters will we knit ones with flowers and puffy bunnies. PUFFY BUNNIES!" Zim said as he started to laugh Gir joined in too but soon stopped.

"I don't get it."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: What... About... The... Bus

"Ok it says here that we have to take bus 8.1234 to the Leaky Cauldron in London England." Dib said to Gaz as they walked each with a briefcase in their hand. "Then a representative of Hogwarts." Dib paused giving a squeal. "Will meet us and help us get what we will need for the year."

"Whatever. Now Listen at this school if you act weird I will have to destroy you. Hey by the way why didn't they accept us at our school of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

"I heard they are having this big thingy with a cup and they are playing host to many countries."

"What are they going to drink out of it or something. Big deal. I drink out of a cup everyday no one ever sends a bunch of foreigners to see that."

"Come on Gaz! This is MAGIC!" Dib pauses and he pulls some confetti out of his pocket and pours it over the two of them. " Aren't you excited?"

"Consider this your first warning."

"This is wonderful Gaz, no longer will I be considered a freak. I will be at last with my own kind the magic ones those who create..."

"LOOK DIB! I didn't want to come here in the first place so if you know what's good for you, you will be quiet."

"Oh look there's the bus."

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"Gir, the stink DIB! I HATE HIM! Is getting on the bus 8.1234 which will take him to Targwarts where he will pay more and buy less." Zim said now both of them wearing red shirts with a bulls eye on it.

"Aaah buy me a pony."

" Oh we will ride along side of this bus monster and we will go to this Targwarts and then we will buy what we need for world domination."

"Can I get a blue pony?"

"Yes I suppose so now lets move." Zim said as they entered his ship and followed bus 8.1234.

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"Hey Gaz what are you playing?" Dib asked while Gaz played her Game Slave on the bus.

"It's the Legend of Gaibon, I've gotten to the level with Gaven." Gaz paused as her eyes widened with delight. "Gaven is my only reason for living with his brown hair and his shiny sword."

"Ahhhh... Is little Gaz in love?"

"Say that again and I may vomit." Gaz said as she regained her usual demeanor.

"So how do you suppose this bus is getting to England. Will it have something to do with Magic!" Dib again pulls more confetti out of his pocket and throws it into the air.

"I'm just hoping that you'll get this confetti thing out of your system."

"Coming up the Leaky Cauldren!" The Bus driver said.

"How did we get here so fast?" Dib asked as he looked out the window.

"Magic Duh." Gaz said as the bus stopped leaving the two in front of the Leaky Cauldron.

"Are you two Dib and Gaz?" A man said with his son following.

"Yes and we are ready to do MAGIC!" Dib said putting his hand in his empty pocket. "Oh man."

"Nice to meet you my name is Amos Diggory and this is my son Cedric."

"Hi how are you..." Dib started as Gaz pulls a sword out of her brief case.

"Here hold this." Gaz said giving the sword to Cedric.

"Sure." Cedric said as he looked at the sword and Gaz in an odd manner." It's a nice enough sword."

"G...gggaa...Gaven..."

"Why do you have a sword on you?" Dib asked his sister. "Your kind of frightening."

"Well we better get going and get your things." Amos said looking at the two odd children.

"Americans." Cedric muttered under his breath as the group move past the Leaky Cauldron.

Zims ship landed exactly where bus 8.1234 had dropped off Dib. "Is this it? Is this Poliwats whirlpool of cola products and salted snacks?"

"No! This says we are in Diagon Alley." Grr said reading a post sign.

"But I do not wish to bowl."

"Maybe we should follow Dib maybe he can take us to Hog... "

"I am the Invader here!... We shall follow the filthy Dib who wil lead us to Fufflwhats arrangement of fabric softener and socks. SOFTENER AND SOCKS!"

"Geez and they call me the stupid one. Do-de-do-do-de." Gir muttered as he followed behind his master.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to

Speciall Ed, Purple Almighty and FallenAngel331 you guys made my day.

Chapter 3: The Journey to Hogwarts

"Wow this train is neat." Dib said as he and Gaz entered the train from platform 9 3/4.

"Now Dib I've never really seemed to appreciate your knowledge of weirdness. Mostly because your voice makes me want to do SUCH TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THINGS! But I have a question."

"Wow things are really looking up for me now. I've been accepted to Hogwarts! My sister is asking me questions. I'm welcoming in a new golden age."

"I wouldn't welcome it in just yet... Have you ever heard on that stupid tv show of yours about people coming out of video games?"

"Not from video games, but I've heard of those dirty chicken toys coming to life. Hey wait a minute this has to do with Cedric doesn't it, you think he's that Gaven person." Dib said laughingly as Gaz face filled with anger.

"That's it!" Gaz said as she started to pummel her brother.

"NOOOOO!"

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"Gir! Look there is something flying high in the air above that filthy earth train." Zim screeched as he flew his ship above the Hogwarts bound train.

"HORSIES!" Gir said looking outside the cockpit.

"Flying Earth mammals pulling some carriage thing. Impressive, even for this Earthians. Could they be heading to Bulbimax feel of light bulbs and feet warmers?"

"They are from the other school look feathers!"

" Other school? This gives me an idea. Why not pose as attendants of this other school so we may observe from another perspective the Dib's activities."

"We get to be girls!"

"What!"

"That's Beauxbatons it's a girl school."

"BRILLIANT, I EVEN ASTOUND MYSELF! Taking duel girl identities the DIB wont even recognize us as attendants of Rowrattens."

"Okay... Say hi to KITTY!" Gir said as he pulled out an orange ginger colored cat from his back.

"Where did you get that thing?"

"It loves me! Really!" Gir said as he cuddles with the cat.

"Gir, that earth animal it's face looks all smooshed... It sickens me." Zim says as he backs from making a slight gaging noise.

"Aww I think it's cute. I found him in a garbage can!"

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"Ronald! Have you seen Crookshanks!" Hermione screeched at her best friend.

"No I haven't seen your bloody cat and I hope he jumped in a lake." Ron rebutted.

"Come on Ron! I know you've never liked the cat but to hide him away. "

"I haven't hid anything away!" Ron said his voice cracking with the terror of puberty.

"LOOK GAZ! FELLOW STUDENTS!" Dib said beaming as he and his sister ran into the arguing pair.

"I guess IT'S nice TO MEET you or whatever." Gaz said as Ron and Hermione looked at the brother and sister. "My father says I need to learn social skills so I'm going to your stupid school and this is my stupid brother Dib."

"IT"S SO NICE TO MEET YOU! TELL ME ALL THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT MAGIC!" Dib screamed as Gaz took some Confetti out of her pocket and threw it into the air. "Where did you get that?"

"I stole it from your pocket while we were on the bus."

"My name is Hermione Granger and this is Ronald Weasley." Hermione said offering her hand to Gaz who took it annoyingly.

"Oh hi Cedric." Ron said as Cedric came up to meet them.

"I see you've meet Dib and Gaz." Cedric said as Gaz's mouth dropped. "She let me hold a sword."

"Would you mind holding it again!"

"Why not." Cedric said as she grabbed the sword out of her bag and gave it to Cedric as she then took out her camera and started to take pictures of Cedric who was now posing for her with the sword.

"Why does your sister have a sword on her?" Hermione asked.

"That's wicked frightening." Ron added.

"Well it was nice seeing you all again." Cedric said as he walked away giving the sword back to Gaz, who's mouth was still agape.

"Hi guys what's going on?" said a voice who came up the group the voice of none other than Harry Pot...

"HARRY POTTER! I've heard about you on Mysterious, Mysteries of Strange Mysteries!"

_Magical Re-enactment:_

"Today on Mysterious, Mysteries of Strange Mysteries we have the story of the boy-who-lived. A young Wizard brought up by his mortal aunt and uncle. What makes this young wizard so special you ask, lets ask his aunt and uncle," The Narrator said as he knocked on the door of the Dursley's home on Privet Drive.

"Excuse me sir can you tell me what makes your nephew so special?" The Narrator said as Vernon Dursley opened the door.

"GET OFF MY BLOODY LAWN YOU FREAKS!" Vernon screamed as the magical re-enactment faded.

"I've been on the television before?" Harry said giving a small smile.

"Dad will be excited to hear that." Rod said referring to his father who was obsessed with the muggle lifestyle.

"It's no big deal me and my brother have been on that stupid show before along with his stupid friend Zim and his dumb dog."

"Zim is not my friend he is the enemy, my alien enemy." Dib said with a bitterness in his voice.

"Alien enemy?... What a bunch of rubbish." Hermione said disbelievingly.

"It's true! He is trying to take over the Earth and I am the only one who can stop him like Harry is the only one who could have stopped you-know-who."

"You-know-who! What is that a codename for something, well now your what-the-poo." Gaz said with a snicker.

"That was low Gaz, that was low."

"You two have some serious issues you know that?" Harry said as the train came to a stop.

"It's been said." Dib said as he reached into his sister's pocket and through some of the confetti she took from him into the air.


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4: The Sorting

"Welcome students of Hogwarts!" Dumbledore said, " Now we shall retain the tradition of sorting the new students. Due to the schools reputation of destruction and mayhem only a handful of parents have decided to let their kids go this year and we shall sort the three right now."

" Dib... Dib what is your last name?" Prof. McGonagall asked as Dumbledore sat down.

"YES!" Dib said as he ran up the great hall and put on the sorting hat.

"That kid is kind of mental isn't he?" Harry asked Ron.

"Totally mental."

"Hmmmmm... you have a big head." The sorting hat said with a questioning furrow where most people think eyes would be on a hat if... a.. hat had eyes.

"I'll take that as a complement." Dib said now being denied a little enthusiasm from the long life question: Why is Dib's head so big?

_Magical Re-enactment. _

"Here on Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries only one question has haunted our dreams: Why is this boy's head so big?" The Narrator said as they show Prof. Membrane.

"Well my son is a part of a family line of people with EXTREMELY BIG HEADS, it comes from his mother's side I'm afraid."

"Is your wife not with us today?"

"No she is at the grocery store buying MILK!" Prof. Membrane said as they panned to Gaz.

"Now Gaz do you know why your brother's head is so big?" The Narrator asked.

"Well I heard that Dad was conducting an experiment on how to mix a hot-air balloon and a human being... I would say he got pretty close."

"Gaz, your father seems to have some trouble coping with the absence of your mother. Do you know where she's at?"

"The grocery store. Duh." Gaz said as we return to the sorting hat.

"Hmmm... Alien fighter... You were once sandwich meat?" The hat asked.

"Yep bologna, almost got ate up by a couple of dogs too."

"GRYFFINDOR!" The Hat said and the room began to cheer as he then whispered to Dib, "Mostly for the dogs... they terrify me."

"Hmmmm let me know if I'm pronouncing this right... mm... Gaz." McGonagall said as Dib sat at the table next to Harry.

"Close enough. Do I have to wear that stupid hat thing?" Gaz asked.

"Yes, dear it's the only way to be sorted."

"Can't they just put me in ... Hufflepuff?" Gaz said with a smile that did not become her, gazing deeply at the Hufflepuff table at the empty seat right next too Gaven... I-I mean Cedric.

"I'M A GRYFFINDOR! NOW I"M CERTAIN TO DEFEAT ZIM!" Dib screeched at Harry.

"Well good luck with that." Harry said giving Dib a pat on the arm and turning .

"No, no we must fallow procedure." McGonagall said placing the hat on Gaz.

"You better say Hufflepuff or I will turn you into..."

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat said being cheered once again by the masses. "Sorry kid your father sent me this letter."

_Dear Sorting Hat_

_Please put my daughter into the same house as her brother. She must make sure that he doesn't bring that giant wildebeest back from the dead. IT WAS HORRIBLE! Plus she will learn much needed people skills._

_Prof. Membrane_

_P.S. I've enclosed a nuclear powered space heater to keep you warm in that cold, cold, cold castle._

"But I don't want people skills." Gaz said building with rage.

" I needed the space heater... I'm a hat I don't have very good circulation."

"Whatever." Gaz said as she walked down and sat with her brother.

"Congratulations Gaz!" Dib said offering a high five.

"Do you have to talk?"

"All right... Woodruff Hoover." McGonagall said as a blonde little boy came up to the hat.

"That's ME! But most people call me WUUUUUUHOOOOOOOO!" WuHo said as he put on the hat.

"For one year why can't we just get some normal students?" McGonagall asked quietly to Dumbledore who responded by lifting his shoulders questioningly.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"WUUUUUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Now that we got that taken care of... I have an important announcement, but first lets have a warm welcome for two schools visiting from a far." Dumbledore said as Madame Maxime and her girls (now including Zim and Gir dressed in the blue dress uniforms of Beauxbatons.)

"ZIM!" Dib said as he pointed at Zim who was now throwing his legs in an attempt to dance as the other Baeuxbatons' greeted the students in an almost musical manor.

"My name is not Zim, it's ZIMA LA DA LA LOOM!" Zim said as he touched his hair (which was the same length as it always is) femininely, "Oh and this is Gir La Gir."

"Hi there!" Gir said holding out the cat.

"Crookshanks!" Hermione yelled.

"No... his name is Moofy."

"Give me my cat!"

"But I love Moofy."

"Crookshanks!"

"MOOFY!"

"CROOKSHANKS!"

"MOOOFFFYYYYY!"

"CRRROOOOKKKKSHANKSS!"

"Oh look lint!" Gir said as bent over to look at the lint allowing Crookshanks to go to it's right full owner with a purr.

"MOOFY! I'll always remember you Moofy! Oh look a peanut!" Gir said as the Baeuxbatons sat at the table.

"Blimey, that's one big woman." Seamus Finnigan said referring to Madame Maxime who had a few feet even over Hagrid who was quiet the behemoth.

Gir gigled, "Blimey."

"He's an ALIEN!" Dib said... obviously.

"I am not an alien! I am a normal earth worm magical thing... visiting the lovely Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Awwww I'm so proud!" Gir said with true admiration.

Then the students Durmstrang came they had these cool sticky things and did back flips it was all very magical!

"Now the students of Baeuxbatons and Durmstrang are here for a special event. Hogwarts has been selected to host the world renowned Tri-Wizard tournament. Now due to the fact that it's entirely dangerous and many students will die, we are only allowing students over the age of 17 to participate in this joyous occasion. The winner will win this." Dumbldore said revealing the Tri-Wizard cup.

"EWWWW! WIZZZZZ!..." Gir said gawking at the cup.

"Eternal glory awaits the winner of the tournament."

"Gir did you hear that eternal glory."

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"Zim after winning the Tri-Wizard cup I have seen the errors of my filthy Earth ways as the representative of all of planet Earth I give you this the deed to the Earth!" Dib said handing a piece of paper to Zim who is also holding the Tri-Wizard cup."

"I AM RULER OF ALL HUMANS! Oh I AM GLAD!" Zim said as he started to laugh.

"Were all doomed!" Gir said as Dumbledore continued.

"Now for those who wish to enter put your name on a piece of paper and put it into the goblet of fire which will be guarded by him." Dumbledore said as he pointed to Mad Eye Moody.

"EWWWW! His eye is spinning like a turkey!" Gir said as he twirled on the seat.

"All right he...she... that! Is mental!" Harry again turning to Ron.

"Yeah! He's way mental."

" This year we have two exciting new teachers. Alastor Moody will be the new defense against the dark arts teacher, and Ms. Bitters is the new defense against sheer stupidity teacher." Dumbledore said as Ms. Bitters appeared with a slither next to Prof. Snape.

"It's a pleasure my lady." Snape said admiring the woman's serpentine demeanor.

"The pleasure is all yours." Ms. Bitters said turning towards the students.

" Ms. Bitters is a witch?" Dib said questionably.

"I thought you've always known." Gaz said.

"You know everything don't you?"

"Pretty much." Gaz said.

"I think we will get along swimmingly." Hermione said turning towards Gaz.

"This Mad-Eye-Moody... he controls this fiery cupy thingy which will choose the competitors of this Tri-Wizard Tournament..." Zim said as Gir interrupted.

"Are you almost finished!"

"THEN, OH THEN..."

"Come on!"

"All right! He controls the tournament and then the winner rules the world!"

"Finally."

"So we must pay a visit to this Moody."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Defense Against Sheer Stupidity Class and People Put Their Names in the Cupy

"Now can anyone tell me what was here before Hogwarts was founded?" Ms. Bitters asked her class while sitting at her desk.

" Before Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was founded it was a magical reserves..." Hermione started.

"NO! Before their was Hogwarts their WAS NOTHING! Where Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is, nothing. Where that tower is... nothing. Where the Whomping Willow is nothing."

"But their was something, the magical..."

"I was a quick witch when I was your age too..."

_Magical Re-Enactment_

Ms. Bitters (far younger and less scary) dressed in black robes and a black hat. "Then everything went horribly wrong." She wiggles her ears and turns into her ususal self.

"Now what do you do when someone is trying to turn you into a donkey."

"You use the _expell..._" Neville said quaking in fear.

"NO! You tell them they are worth less than the figgle wart you put into your dingle berry potion."

"Ms. Bitters does the magical world acknowledge the existence of extraterrestrial life?" Dib asked... Duh!

"We acknowledge a lot of things Dib... unfortunately students have to be one of them."

"Does the magical world acknowledge the existence of Turkey Neck?"

"I went to school with him... I gave him his lucky neck meats."

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"Lucky neck meats?" Harry asked Hermione as they entered the great hall.

"I thought I was used to the life of muggles but Turkey Neck, people think our life is strange."

"Now what is it Dib says he does?"

"He gobbles and then says those kids are always after me lucky neck meats." Hermione said doing an all too eerie representation of Turkey Neck.

"Mental."

"I know."

"GIR! We must put our names into the cupy thing." Zim said pushing aside Harry and Hermione.

"Look it's the Moofy girl!" Gir said smiling at Hermione who returned with a darty look.

"What are you up to Zim?" Dib said coming up to Zim and Gir.

"I am up to nothing, Dib Stink! We are merely putting our names into this goblet and so we may compete in the Tri-Wizard tournament held here at Pollymolly Princess Park of Pajamas and Slippers."

"Owww, you were doing so good." Gir said putting his head down.

" I know you are older than I am Zim but Gir... how old is he?"

"HE IS! He is... How old are you Gir."

"I am 42!"

"He's 42 Dib!"

"Well I guess there is nothing wrong with that. But I'll be watching you closely Zim." Dib said as Gaz appears behind him.

"How'd you do that?" Dib asked.

"It's called apperating." Gaz said annoyed. "You guys aren't talking about that stupid tournament are you?"

"It's a once in a life time event Gaz aren't you even the least excited?"

"No." Gaz said as Cedric came in soaking wet gathered by a couple of his friends she then held her breath as he took a piece of paper and placed it into the goblet illuminated in it's blue flames. She did not breath until he walked away taking his posse with him. "He looks like Gaven from level 22 of Legend of Gaibon the Guitar of Gancky, when he faced the Mossy Monster in the Swamps of Echoes. Maybe I shall watch this one in a lifetime event."

"What's up with your sister?" Zim asked.

"I am afraid too." Dib said as he touched her sister on the shoulder.

"What did I tell you about touching me!" Gaz said as Dib and Zim gave a sigh of relief.

"That boy has curly hair!" Gir said obnoxiously.

"Curly hair like Gaven." Gaz said a little drool passing her lips.

"GIR!" Zim screeched.

"You're a bad influence!" Dib said as then Viktor Krum came with his mentor Igor Karkaroff came to put his name in the cup.

"Look Gir, your Moofy girl has the same look as little Gaz, interesting." Zim said as he stroked his chin.

"I miss Moofy..." Gir said looking at the Moofy girl I-I mean Hermione.

"Crookshanks!" Hermione whispered angerilly while still enthralled by Krum.

"It's called a crush Zim." Dib said flately.

"IT'S ZIMA!... A crush, there going to crush something... can I watch?" Zim asked as everyone but Gir deserted him with a look of witnessing something truly stupid.

"Look it's the spinning turkey man!" Gir said as Mad Eye Moody was doing...something... with the goblet.

"Moody... soon we shall meet and yes it will be special indeed..."

"Did you say something?" Moody asked who was only standing a few feet away from Zim.

"Oh nothing... nothing at all." Zim said sinisterly walking off with a little chuckle.

"SPINNING TURKEYS!" Gir said whirling around making noises.

"GIR!"

"Coming, coming." Gir said as he fallowed Zim.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: The Cupy Chooses and the Return...

"Gir... This is the Moody's classroom." Zim whispered as he and Gir tip toed around the door.

"HI!" Gir screamed as he opened the door.

"GIR!"

"Oh we were spying again huh?"

"Yes Gir." Zim said exasperated.

"No ones here!" Gir said as they both entered the empty classroom

"Your right this is most EXCELLENT!" Zim said as he looked at the bones of some ancient monster lying on Moody's desk.

"Look CANDY!" Gir said as he found a black chest and started to fiddle with the lock until it unlatched causing the box to open and also the many boxes that seemed to be within each other. "Look it came with a toy surprise!"

"What are you doing in there!" Moody yelled.

"Oh we are just a couple of witches... hahahaha..." Zim paused.

"Can I play with the toy!" Gir asked.

"You two are..."

"Hey could you move a little to the left?" Zim asked.

"Over here?" Moody said as he moved just a little to much of center from the box.

"No a little to the right, No! That's to far ok." Zim said as Moody moved following Zim's instructions.

"Is that good?"

"Yes." Zim said bluntly as he stole Moody's fake eye and rammed Moody into the box. "Quick Gir! Close the box!"

"Dun-dun-da-duh!" Gir said lyrically as he sat on the lid and put the lock back on.

"Now Gir witness yet again my superior talent in the mastery of disguise!" Zim said pausing dramatically and then putting Moody's fake eye over his own. " DO I NOT AMAZE YOU!"

"I have no idea who you are?" Gir said as Zim started to cackle.

"ZIMA! Why do you have Prof. Moody's eye?" Hermione questioned in her all to authoritative tone.

"I am Prof. Moody, Moofy child!"

"You still have your Baeuxbatons uniform on."

Zim looks down at his blue dress, "Is this a problem?"

"I would say so."

"Oh ha, ha, Oh you got me I am just covering for Prof. Moody today here at Jartraxes Cruel Room of Torture and Printable Coloring Pages."

"I like Torture!" Gir said.

"They are about to announce the Tri-Wizard Champions and thought you should be there." Hermione said while spinning out of the room.

"Moofy!" Gir yelled.

"CROOKSHANKS!" Hermione said through the now closed door.

"The Moofy girl does not believe my MIGHTY GUISE! We must do something to make these witchy people believe I am the Moody!"

" I'm going to order a pizza!"

"That's it! Gir if you did not make me want to hurl a MIGHTY HURL I would hug you! If these Earthians do not believe in my Moody maybe we should bring back an old friend... to help them believe..." Zim said with a sinister smile across his face.

"Now we are all gathered here to announce the competitors of the Tri-Wizard tournament." Dumbledore said as he moved towards the Goblet of Fire.

"WUUUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes, yes it's exciting... now for Bauexbatons school of Witchraft ... Gir La Gir!" Dumbldore announced as the metal robot came up to him.

"Can I play in your beard?" Gir asked.

"Just go wait back there." Dumbledore said as Gir weaved towards the back.

"I don't trust him! Zim must have rigged the cup!" Dib said to Harry and his group and Gaz.

" Do you really believe he's an alien?" Harry questioned turning to Dib.

" He's green."

"What about Sneaval Kingsley?" Harry said as he pointed to a Slytherin who was a creepy sort of sour apple green who waved to Dib.

"That's the breaks isn't it." Gaz said.

"For Durmstrang Institute of Wizardry... Viktor Krum!" Dumbledore said as Krum came up and gave a bow to the aged wizard, then following Gir's path.

"For Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry (we aren't as biased as other schools)... Cedric Diggory!"

"Gaven!" Gaz said as she blew a kazoo, fallowed up by releasing a couple of balloons into the air and then lastly throwing the remaining confetti into the air. "I was saving it for a special occasion."

"Look the cupy thing... its doing something?" Zim said as the goblet unleashed one final piece of paper.

"Harry Potter... Harry Potter... HARRY POTTER!" Dumbldore yelled at the boy who was now cowering...

"I'm not cowering."

"Go Harry! C'mon Harry!" Hermione said pushing Harry up who then walked into the room with the remaining champions.

"Man she's even more condescending then I imagined." Gaz whispered to her brother.

"I heard that!"

Harry walked into the room fallowed by a group of mad educational authorities... oh and Zim who didn't act like anything was wrong.

"HARRY! DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?" Dumbledore asked shacking the poor boy.

"No."

"Did you ask one of the other students to do it for you?"

"No."

"Well ok."

"Can I be shaken up too?" Gir asked now in Dumbledore's face.

"GIR!"

"No." Dumbledore said walking away.

"This is most advantageous Gir if you win I SHALL HAVE ETERNAL GLORY!"

"Hey what 'bout me?"

"What more do you want, I've already promised you the moon?"

"I'm going to make cheese!" Gir said rubbing his hands with joy.

"Now Gir did you get the pizza."

"I ran and I ran and I ran and I ran into Canada and there was no pizza's to be seen! Then I went to the place next door!" Gir said pulling out the pizza.

"Excellent." Zim said as he paused then he splattered the pizza onto his face screaming in pain. "Gir Get me BACON SOAP!"

" I got it off the Internet!" Gir said as he passed the bar to Zim who took it and then writhed in pain.

"Has it come?"

"What?"

"The pimple!"

"Ohh is that what you were doing?"

"NOW THE ACNE BLAST!" Zim said as Gir handed him the ointment causing the small blemish that started to grow to enormous size. He then took a pen and drew a face on the super sized zit he then put the crazed eye of Moody over one of it's drawn ones. He then put a small fabric body that was a similar to Moody's dark garb.

"Welcome back my friend I have missed you well."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Rita Skeeter Meets Mad Eye Pustulio

"My name is Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet, and the world wants to know all about you!" Rita said giving a slight giggle. "And this is... is..."

"Mostly they just call me the Narrator."

"All right this is the Narrator from Mysterious, Mysteries of Strange Mysteries who is teaming up with the Daily Prophet for this special event."

"Yes indeed and there is one question that all of our viewers want to know..." the Narrator said as he moved to Cedric. "What conditioner do you use?"

"I'm sorry."

"Conditioner... the world wants to know."

"Well I use a combination of..."

"HEY I KNOW!" Gir said grabbing Rita's and the Narrator's attention.

"You know what kind of conditioner I use... You frighten me."

"He frightens everyone." Zim said bluntly.

"We'll get back to Mr. Diggory's hair later now we shall move on to another important question..." Rita said as she then ran squared up to Harry. "DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE!"

"No..." Harry said backing away slightly.

"I know what happened." Gir said as both journalist, giggle, journalists, came up to him.

"Tell us."

_Magical Re-Enactment _

"I was the french lady playing hopscotch with a mongoose." Gir voiced over as they showed him throwing a rock and moving forward.

"Now did this mongoose put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire?" Rita asked as the re-enactment continued showing Gir fall down.

"Yes...No... I... don't know..." Gir said as they returned to the room with the champions.

"Oh but I do." Zim said as he moved in front of the champions.

"And your name is?" Rita asked.

"I am Zima La Da La Loom I am the official spokesman for Prof. Moody the defense against the dark arts teacher here at Suntours Chapter 11 the Dookie Strikes Back."

"That's not Alastor Moody."

"What about...NOW!" Zim said as he taped the enormous zit posing as Moody causing Moody's stolen eye to move around crazily.

"Oh yes it's nice to see you again Prof. Moody." Rita said with a glint in her eye.

"Yes, Mad Eye Pustulio is happy to see you too."

"Now you say you know what happened with the Goblet of Fire."

"Yes... I can tell you how it happened."

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"It all started when that GREASY Dib showed up!" Zim voiced over as Dib, dressed in a black hood spookily walks towards the Goblet.

"Dib...Dib...Dib.. DIB! The big head boy!" The Narrator asked.

"Yes his head is quiet large." Zim continued, "He has a knack for getting people in trouble and he wanted the Potter boy to play in this little game, thingy."

"We have brought Dib and his little sister here today to give us more details on what really happened." The Narrator said as Dib and Gaz walked in.

"You brought the Dib here?" Zim asked.

"I've come here to reveal the truth!"

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"It all happened because of Zim! He is an alien and he wants to use the cup for his own evil purposes." Dib said as Zim's ship comes in and beams up the Goblet of Fire and then putting it back down as it puffs up some smoke in the shape of a skull. Zim then starts laughing menacingly.

"That's a lie!"

"No it isn't!" Gir said to Zim's dismay.

"Now Gaz... What do you have to say about all of this?" Rita asked Gaz who was amoured by Cedric's presence.

"Did you say something?" Gaz said annoyed at this mere distraction.

"Yes, do you know what happened with the Goblet of Fire?"

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"Well I did see stupid Zim and his dumb pet thing hanging around the cup, but then the giant sea-weed king showed up."

"This is almost as fun as the mongoose!" Gir interrupted.

"I WAS TALKING!" Gaz said filled with rage. "Any ways the sea-weed king appeared and was doing things to that stupid goblet."

Then in the re-enactment Cedric came in wet and holding a sword. "Then Cedric came in and destroyed it with his mighty sword... LIKE GAVEN!"

"Who on earth is Gaven?" Cedric asked Harry.

"I don't try to understand anything coming out of their mouths."

" I liked your story." Gir said to Gaz who then shoved him aside.

"Well I think we have gotten enough for today don't you?" Rita asked the Narrator.

"Enough is always enough with that boy."

"That is a stupid disguise." Dib said pointing at Mad Eye Pustulio. Zim in response wobbled the head of Pustulio and let it hypnotize Dib leaving him in a docile state as he took Gir with him out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Cedric Rules, Potter Stinks, and Gir's Crazy

"We'll you can tell Ron!..." Harry told Hermione as Zim and Gir walked towards the Neville and Harry.

"I AM NOT AN OWL !"

"No you're the Moofy girl." Gir said as the former group passed with Hermione giving him a look.

"Gir we have business with the Potter child, no talking to the Moofy girl."

"MY NAME IS NOT MOOFY GIRL!" Hermione yelled from afar.

"We know geez... Moofy Girl."Gir said with a giggle.

"Now! Potter boy... we have much to discuss."

"About what?" Harry asked while being distracted by Pastulio.

"I believe it will be most advantages for you to forfeit the tournament."

"I don't think so."

"What about... now!" Zim said as he pulled a puppy out from his back who then began to lick Harry's face.

"I think he likes me."

"I told you it wouldn't work." Gir said annoying his master.

"Maybe Mad-Eye-Pustulio can change your mind." Zim said as he wobbled the hideous blemish on his neck.

"Hmmm... no."

"You will give up the tournament and give all to ZIM!"

"Your really stupid." Harry said as he walked off.

"I will give up the tournament and give all to Zim." Neville said hypnotically.

"RRRRRrrr! This Pustulio is not as potent as the last one."

"Not as potent..." Neville drooled.

"Still it seems to have quiet the effect on this one."

"Ah... let's make him make us some POOP." Gir said smiling at Neville.

"Classic or Salted?..." Neville said still out in no where.

"Hmmmm... how 'bout salted."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cedric rules! Potter stinks! And Gir's Crazy!" Dib said reading aloud on a pin on another student's jacket.

"I would say it's accurate enough." Gaz said as she took a sip from her juice box.

"Come on Gaz! Harry is the only one who can save the magical world from the forces of darkness. You shouldn't make judgments because of your crush."

"Maybe you should tell yourself that Dib."

"Very funny." Dib said, "Hey have you heard of that Yule Ball thing?"

"Some lame dance, why would I(!) care?"

"Well I thought maybe you would want to go with... Cedric." Dib said as Gaz's eyes widened, "Maybe I've been looking at this to much as a bad thing."

"I had a dream last night... I was playing the Legend of Gaibon the Musical..."

"Video games have musicals?"

"I WAS TELLING YOU MY DREAM!"

"Ok, ok continue."

_Magical Re-Enactment _

"I was in the graveyard level and my battery started to run low." Gaz said as she entered a graveyard covered in snow.

"Your batteries are fading, and your debating, should you save or continue..." A voice sang.

"That's when Gaven appeared holding the sword of shiny pet care." Gaz voiced over.

"Legend of Gaibon, will you guide me? Shall I save or continue..." Gaz sang.

"Continue..."

"Continue I will but what should I do?... If my batteries run empty."

"Too long have you played with batteries, when will you get an adapter?"

"Wildly my thumbs are cramping..."

"They are bleeding..."

"Yet the soul obeys..." Gaz and Gaven sang in unison.

"Legend of Gaibon, I/you accept you/me turning from true dookie. Legend of Gaibon I/you will buy your/my sequel, coming out this September..."

"Maybe you really should get an adaptor." Dib said as they returned.

"Look there he is!" Gaz said as she pointed at him.

"Why don't you ask him or something?"

"But I thought the boys are supposed to ask?"

"It's a new day in age." Dib said as Cho Chang walked towards Cedric.

"I have written you a poem... (Clears her throat.) The oceans are blue the atmosphere is too, your pretty good at Quiditch and charms too. Will you come to the dance with me... HERE'S A PIZZA!" Cho said as she handed him a pizza.

"Sure." Cedric said chewing a piece of pizza.

"Something is oddly familiar with that girl." Dib said turning to Gaz who was now red with anger.

" SHE STEALS MY LOVE WITH PIZZA! OHHH NOOO! NO! NO! NO! YOU MAY HAVE WON TODAY UMMM, UMMM, What's her name?" Gaz asked.

"Cho Chang."

"Thank you. CHO CHANG, YOU SHALL SOON SEE AS I SHALL REIGN DOWN FIERY VENGEANCE UPON YOU LIKE THE DARK PRINCESS IN THE LEGEND OF GAIBON THE DARK PRINCESS!"

"I like that game."


	9. Chapter 9

You guys make me happy. Am I getting better grammatically? I just get all these thoughts and I have to write them fast before they go away.

Chapter 9: The First Task

"My Almighty Tallest, I have come to report my progress here at Shivara personal care products by Lemon." Zim said as he opened his portable contact screen while talking to his mighty leaders of the Irken elite.

"What was that?" Red asked.

"Yeah I didn't quite catch that."

"It's Hogwarts!" Gir said as he waved at the screen.

"Gir! Sorry my tallest he may have been advanced... but he is still very stupid.." Zim said putting his head down.

"That's ok we can only love them and hope they turn out ok." Purple said while Red and Gir both give him a look.

"Sirs! I SHALL NOW REVEAL MY WONDERFUL PLAN!" Zim said as he wailed his arms in the air.

"We are going to win eternal glory." Gir interrupted.

"Yes Gir will win this Tri-Wizard Tournament and I SHALL ACHIEVE ETERNAL GLORY!"

"Yes, that will be neat..." Purple said as he suddenly notice Mad Eye Pustulio.

"What is that thing?" Red asked holding his mouth.

"Ah yes, my tallest I would like you to meet PUSTULIO!" Zim said as he stroke his uncanny zit inspired creation.

"That disgusting!" Purple said as Red threw up as the transmitted ended.

"I guess the taller you are the less the UNBELIEVABLE MIGHT OF PUSTULIO takes effect." Zim Paused, "Now Gir I believe that this task deals with D-R-A-G-O-N-S."

"I got a plan."

"What you have a plan? This is most squigalyspooch rolling." Zim said as he burst out laughing.

"Ohhh... you hurt my feelings." Gir said as he reached for Crookshanks, his Moofy, and held him tight.

"Crookshanks?" Hermione called from afar as Gir gave a little chuckle.

* * *

"Now to decrease fear of your undeniable doom, Dumbledore has asked me to give a few words of encouragement." Ms. Bitters said as she entered the champions tent. "Good luck." 

"You-You Astound me." Snape said his black heart beating for once in along time.

"Yeah for me." Bitters said bluntly and coldly as she slithered out of the room.

"That is one wonderful woman." Snape said following after her.

"Ah young..." Rita said admiring Harry and Hermione who where hugging.

"And old." The Narrator added.

"Love."

"You are not welcome here." Viktor said as he confronted the journalist, snicker, journalist. " This is a place for champions and friends."

"And Moofy." Gir said as he held Crookshanks up to Viktor who gave him a like.

"Ahh he likes me."

"Give me that!" Hermione said as she took her pet all the while exchanging looks with Krum.

"EWWWHUWHUUHOOOOO!" Gir Exclaimed.

"WWWWWWUUUUUUHHOOOOOOO!" A proclamation came from afar.

* * *

"Look Gaz it's Cho Chang, your arch nemesis." Dib said as he and his sister sat down for the first event in the Tri-Wizard tournament. 

"OH I HAVE A PLAN, A WONDERFUL PLAN! AT LAST MY REVENGE!" Gaz said as she then threw a piece of paper at Cho.

"WHO THREW THAT! PAPER BEAST!" Cho said rubbing the back of her head.

Then all the students around Gaz, including Dib backed away, " Do you have a problem with that?"

"You? YOU!"

"Yes me we have already gotten that far."

"Oh you shall pay for throwing that at my mighty flesh. After the yule ball you and me are going to have a duel, the last.. "

"Blah, blah, blah." Gaz retorted, "Fine meet at the courtyard or whatever."

"I still think something is oddly familiar with that girl." Dib said as Gir came out of the tent and waved at the audience.

"Now for Baeuxbatons Gir la Gir!" The announcer said as a green dragon entered the arena. "Her... His... It's challenge is to attain the golden egg with out meeting a MOST HORRIBLE END!"

Gir then went up to the dragon and yelled, "DO THE DONUT DANCE!" he then started to whirl around the dragon, who then fallowed suit in which Gir then took the time to snatch the egg from the distracted reptilian.

"Wow that was a good plan." Zim said from outside the tent.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10: The Yule Ball

"ZIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Dib asked as he and Gaz came to the doors of the great hall that he had recently been decorated magically with ice.

"I am here for dancing, and merriment!"

"Who are you going with, Gir!"

"No vermin child I am going with someone mighty and powerful..."

"You don't have a date either huh?" Dib said looking down sadly.

"No." Zim said joining suit.

"Now Gir la Gir, you will come with me." Prof McGonagall said as she confronted the robotic child. "Umm... where's your date?"

"He doesn't have a date either!" Zim said angrily.

"Yes I do." Gir said as Gaz took his arm.

"Gaz your dancing with the enemy!" Dib asked.

"He's a good dancer, besides he's going to help me get a dance with Cedric."

"She's going to get me a pony!" Gir added as the two entered through the doors.

"He really is a good dancer you know." Zim added.

* * *

"My beauty! You are the most graceful, the most diabolical, the most flagrante..." Snape said to his lovey-doby Ms. Bitters.

"Are you quite finished?"

"My heart's yours for the taking, it is beating like a snare drum, will you do me the honor of dancing with me this night?" Snape said as he conjured a shape of a heart with his wand.

"No." Ms. Bitters said as she then crushed the heart with her hands and walked away.

"OH MY!" Snape said as he ran after his "lady".

"Now Gir!" Gaz said as Gir walked up to Cho and Cedric who had sat down after Cho had made dancing seem more of wading around in open air.

"Umm... would you dance with me." Gir said to... Cedric.

"Not him the OTHER one!" Gaz said in a loud whisper.

"Oh... Ummm will you dance with me?" Gir said this time ,to Gaz's glee, to Cho.

"No." Cho said coldly.

"C'mon!"

"No."

"DANCE WITH ME!"

"NO!"

"Please."

"All right." Cho said as Gir took her out to the floor.

"It would seem our dates are sharing each other's company." Cedric said standing up and moving to Gaz.

"I guess so." Gaz said trying to be nonchalant.

"Would you care to dance?" Cedric said offering his hand.

"... yes." Gaz said being dumbstruck.

"NOOOOOOO!" Cho said as Gir attacks her face.

"Here put this on." Gir said as he takes a sombrero from out of nowhere putting it on her head.

"No not again please NOOO!"Cho said as Gir then wagged his butt in her face. "NOT AGAIN!"

"So tell me about this Gaven chap." Cedric said while him and Gaz danced to a slow song.

"Well he is one of the heroes in the land of Gaibon, and the rarest cards in the Legend of Gaibon Ultra Uber series."

"Ultra Uber?"

"I have three of them... see!" Gaz said as she showed him a card depicting Gaven which looked a great deal like him except for white hair that replaced Gaven's original brown hair. "This is Dark Gaven Ultra Uber."

"Why does he have white hair?"

"He's bursting with inverted energies." Gaz said as Cedric gave an "okay" look.

"NO! THE PURE TERROR!" Cho said as she ran past them.

"Oh its not that bad! DO THE DONUT DANCE!" Gir said as he chased after her.

"NOOOOO!"

"This stinks." Hairy said as he looked at Cho being chased by Gir.

"Totally." Ron added

"Ahh you just have to look at the brighter side." Dib said giving much needed, or at least he thought, peep to his two pals.

"It should be me chasing after her.. I mean dancing with her." Harry said as Cho screamed by.

"There is just no justice in the world." Zim said as he walked up to the three boys.

"None at all." Ron said followed up by another blood curdling scream from Cho.

* * *

"PAAAY MEEE!" Gir said as Gaz and him met at the door.

"Ok, ok." Gaz said as she pulled out her wand and made a pony appear.

"Oh... I'm going to feed you a walnut!" Gir said as he walked up to Hermione who was crying on the stairs. "Oh why are you sooo saad?"

"My friends a giant git!"

"I know what will make you feel better." Gir said as he held out Crookshanks.

"AaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Hermione screamed as she got up and started to chase Gir.

"How do you know how to make a horse?" Dib asked unaffected by this display.

"They taught us in transfiguration." Gaz said as Cedric passed by giving a wink. " I can die happy."

"OH YOU WILL!" Cho said while panting.

"So I'm guessing you want to duel or something?" Gaz said while still watching Cedric.

"Oh I don't want to miss this!" Dib said as the three moved out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

This chapter may be a little violent due to the fact that it has to do with a fight I don't think it's quite teen so you can tell me whether it is a little more than K10 and it will help me judge on a future chapter that has a fight in it. Oh and a lot of these spells are made up so if they are lame it's my fault.

Chapter Eleven: Gaz Vs. Cho Duel of the Century

"What is going on DIB BEAST!" Zim said as he and Gir came up to Dib who was watching Gaz and Cho staring each other down.

"Are they going to make some apple pie?" Gir asked with a smile.

"No Gir, this is what is as tradition dictates a duel. The most honored and respected way in the wizarding world of displaying... violence." Dib said in aw of the fight at hand.

"I like violence!"

"Me too Gir, me too." Zim said as he and Gir sat down on a bench.

"Do you want some popcorn?" Zim said as he pulled some from his back.

"Uh-huh."

"ON MY MARK, ONE...TWO... ARE YOU READY!..."

"Get on with it already." Gaz said throwing a piece of paper at her brother.

"NOW WHOEVER WINS THIS DUEL GAINS THE LOVE OF CEDRIC DIGGORY FOREVER!"

"Wow this is good!" Zim said clapping.

"I love this show."

"GO!"

"_Wingardium Leviosa_**." **Cho said making the paper Gaz threw at Dib fly at here covering her face.

"Oh cheap!" Dib said as Gir replied with a huff, throwing a handful of popcorn.

"_Levicorpus!" _Gaz shouted lifting Cho into the air and removing the paper on her face.

"Go Gaz!" Dib shouted as Zim and Gir gave a golf clap.

"_Couleules!" _Cho said now upside down making Gaz turn over in vertigo.

"I THINK SHE IS GOING TO THROW UP!" Gir shouted now trying to initiate the wave with Zim who was not responding.

"What are you doing?" Zim asked.

"I want to do the wave... see I go up like this and then when I go down you go UP!" Gir said following his own description.

"Like this?" Zim said as he got up and sat down.

"Yes but you have TO WAVE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!" Gir said flailing about.

"So is it more like this?" Zim said getting up and lifting his hands into the air dryly.

"Yep you got it!" Gir said as the two continued to do the wave.

"_Liberacorpus"_ Cho said dropping herself to the ground.

"_Attiradelement!_" Gaz said as an invisible force drove Cho to the ground.

"_Poinçond'ouragan!_" Cho said as a huge gust of wind through itself at Gaz.

"This is going to be close." Dib said to his ummm audience.

"_Etincetive!_" Gaz said as Cho got a small jolt.

"_Jetlairsismique!_" Cho said pointing her wand at Gaz's feet.

"Is that the best you got?" Gaz asked as suddenly the earth beneath her feet started to rumble, then a giant hand made of stone lifted Gaz high into the air, then suddenly it disappeared.

"_Souffleiggly!_" Gaz said as she then inflated like a balloon.

"_Bruit._" Cho said calmly as all the air let out of Gaz making her crash into the ground. "Have you had enough!"

"_Aguamenti."_ Gaz said filling with anger as a jet of water came flying out of her wand towards Cho who was screaming in pain.

"It looks like this may be the defining moment of the duel!" Dib said as Zim and Gir gave another golf clap.

"_Perchepsychique!_" Cho said filling Gaz's head with an extreme psychic force forcing the jet of water to stop.

"_Soyez Tranquille!_" Gaz screamed as the relentless force ended.

"_Transformez En Porc!_" Cho said turning Gaz into a piggy.

"PIGGY!" Gir shouted.

"Gaz can you speak! CAN YOU TURN YOURSELF BACK?" Dib asked getting a small oink in response. "Gaz is unable to duel... Cho is the winner."

"Boo!" Zim shouted attempting the wave.

"PIGGY!"

"It looks like you have finally become what you truly are underneath." Cho said coldly as she walked away.

"Ummmmmm... Deviennent mon soeur effrayante de nouveau." Dib said tapping his wand on his piggy sister turning her back to his amazement and glee.

"Little Gaz I want you to know me and Gir were routing for you... YOU FILTHY HUMAN!" Zim said first being rather kind as he and Gir went off to do more fiendish planning.

"I'm sorry Gaz..." Dib said remorsefully.

"GO AWAY!" Gaz said as her brother walked off leaving her alone.


	12. Chapter 12

You guys are awesome. Yeah I think Harry and Cedric could have found someone a little less temperamental and fickle so I made a few changes tehe tehe.

Chapter 12: Thems the Breaks

"Nice egg." Dib said to Harry who was staring at it puzzlingly.

"You probably wouldn't think it if I opened it." Harry said cringing at the memory of the siren like sounds that comes from the golden egg.

"What is it supposed to do exactly?" Dib said squiring up to it.

"It's supposed to give us some sort of clue."

"HI... or whatever." Gaz said as she came up to the two boys.

"Well you seem to be doing better." Dib said giving his sister a smile.

"Yeah I guess I am."

"Did something happen?" Harry asked the siblings.

"Well there was this magic duel over the heart of... cedric." Dib said whispering the last part trying not to put salt on the wound.

"GAVEN!" Gaz said as she then burst into tears.

"I'm sorry I asked."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't have had the dream." Gaz said with a sniffle.

"Was it from The Legend of Gaibon the musical?" Dib asked.

"Yes."

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"I-I was at the door of the old Galley Town Symphony Hall, I was playing the girl who played the Saxophone who had fallen in love with Gaven." Gaz voiced over.

"Then tell me! Tell me you don't love me anymore!" Gaz said in the re-enactment.

"I-I don't I-I'm sorry." Gaven said turning from her and walking out as suddenly, and unbeknownst to Gaz, with a tear as he was hiding his true feelings.

"On and on does anyone know why we are playing for? The game is over! The game is over!" Dib sang in an operatic voice.

"Oh I have a part in your dream?" Dib asked with an aw in his voice.

"Be Quite!"

"You've defeated the giant ant, you've collected all the magic tents. Yet you still play on?"

"I must keep her safe." Gaven sang from afar.

"There is still that token in the lake." Gaz sang.

"I can't let her in."

" Then there's the stick that can control the wind."

" I wish I could stay."

"All the things I could... say..."

"Oh I hate to be the ogre." Dib joined in.

"But the game is over..." All three sang.

"That is soo sad!" Dib and Harry said as they began to cry with her.

"Are you three all right?" Cedric said as he confronted the three.

"Um yeah, yeah." Harry said as he wiped some of the tears off his face.

"Well about you warning me 'bout the dragons."

"Oh it's nothing, I bet you would have done the same for me."

"Exactly... You know the prefects bathroom? Up in the second hall? Maybe you should take your egg, mule things over in the hot water." Cedric said as he then turned from the group as all three returned to their crying.

"Ewww that's so saaaad." Gir said as he joined the tearful group.

"Gir do you even know what is going on?" Dib asked Gir who was pounding his hands on the ground.

"I really don't." Gir said as he stopped crying.

"Oh Gir about your egg I guess it has something to do with water." Harry said relaying Cedric's advice.

"I know! I WAS PLAY DEEP SEA DIVING!" Gir said as he took his egg and made it do a dive in the air.

"GIR! Why are you hanging with the POTTER boy and that STUPID DIB?" Zim said retrieving his robot assistant.

"WERE PLAYING DEEP SEA DIVING!"

"YOUR LYING!"

"Look Zim we don't have time for your alien invasion some of us are here to learn." Dib said as everybody but Dib and Zim started to laugh.

"Oh I HAVE LEARNED MUCH, SO MUCH!" Zim said taking out his wand. "Little Gaz's duel last night gave me an idea it is time we finished this like magical children!"

"OK!" Dib said following suit.

"_Brengopdegeit_!" Zim said as a small goat came out of nowhere and started to eat some grass off the lawn.

"Whatever." Dib said as he walked away.

"Aww I like it." Gir said as the goat gave a "baaaa".


	13. Chapter 13

Hey everyone stay away from the goat! J/K

Sorry I can't spell moose.

Chapter 13: Disappearances... eww Spooky!

"So I was reading in the Daily Prophet today and they are saying how Harry is a cheat and Gir is in love with Crookshanks... Oh and something about an expose on the room with a moose..." Hermione said talking to Ron in the great hall.

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"Here on Mysterious Mysterious of Strange Mysteries we have all given a resounding huh to the mystery of the room with a moose." The Narrator said as they panned to Prof. Membrane.

"Well I don't exactly get the question. Is there a room with a moose? Well there is a possibility of... a room... containing a... moose..." Membrane said as they panned to his son.

"I'VE SEEN IT, IT'S HORRIBLE JUST THE THOUGHT! OHH!" Dib said as they showed a white room with a moose. "One day my class was on a "field trip" and the EVIL ALIEN ZIM high jacked our bus into outer space and into a highway of black holes... and ... then...and ...then... OH I JUST CAN'T IT'S TOO HORRIBLE!"

"It's ok..." The Narrator said giving him a pat on his shoulder.

"No, no, the world must know! That's when he feed it a... w-walnut!" Dib said as the moose crunched on the nut. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"A room with a moose?" Ron asked as the re-enactment faded.

"Oh lately they have a load of rubbish in the Prophet... By the way have you seen Crookshanks?"

"Maybe that lunatic Gir stole it again."

"No I didn't!" Gir said as he suddenly appeared next to them.

" I beat he's lying anyways... how did you appear all of a sudden?" Ron asked.

"It's called apperating duh..." Gir said as the both of them gave him a look. " Ok, ok... I"VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG!"

"And you really haven't seen Crookshanks?"

"No."

"Are... you... sure?" Hermione asked lifting her eyebrow.

"Yes..." Gir said lifting what I guess would be robotic eyebrows.

"Really?" Hermione asked really wondering.

"YEAH NO MOOFY!"

"Do you know what this means?" Hermione asked.

"WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"YES!" Hermione said as the two of them ran around in circles.

"What have they done to you?" Ron asked his friend who he thought was losing sanity by the minute.

"I'm afraid too." Hermione said as she suddenly stopped though Gir was still ranting and running like a lunatic, though then she just noticed that her friend went missing. "Ron? RONALD!"

"What's a matter Moofy Girl?" Gir said as he stopped.

"Ronald he just has gone missing."

"Oh that's too bad." Gir said as he again ran around in circles.

"GIR WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!" Zim asked as he confronted his assistant.

"I'm talking to the Moofy Girl."

"Where is she?" Zim asked as the girl had suddenly vanished... DUN DUN DUH!

"EWWWWW I THINK I"M GOING CRAZY!" Gir said as he then took up to some more running.

"Was that really ever up to debate?...Ever?"

* * *

"Oh I see your getting back to your real self. Playing your game slave." Dib said as he watched her sister playing her game. "I bet any day now you'll be going Dib, when you open your mouth do sounds have to come from it?" 

"Your vastly annoying and your head is monstrously huge."

"Aww just like the good old days... What are you playing?"

"Nothing!" Gaz said covering the back of her game.

"Nothing huh, let me see." Dib said offering his hand.

"No."

"What is it Piggy Hunter, Mojebenjie?"

"Not exactly."

"IS IT THE LEGEND OF GAIBON THE ONE WHERE GAVEN HOLDS THE SWORD OF HOTTNESS!" Dib screamed pointing his finger at his sister.

"YES!" Gaz said again bursting into tears.

"Give it!" Dib said taking the game slave away from his sister. "Out of sight out of mind as I always say."

"It would have been ok...but..."

_Magical Re-Enactment_

"I'm kind of thirsty... And I'm wondering if you could spot me." Gaven rapped in a mediaeval type dance club.

"I've got some Poop with a hint of cherry, and on cups I'm kind of empty. So I'll put it in my mug, my mug, my mug, my mug, my mug, my mug, my lovely winter mug." Gaz sang handing the mug to Gaven who then dropped.

"You see I'm kind of clumsy." Gaven rapped again.

"But that's ok for you see. We can cover it with my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug, my rug! Check it out!" Gaz sang placing the rug over the spill.

"The land of Gaibon has dance clubs?" Dib asked dumbfounded as Harry passed by. "Oh Harry I was looking for you."

"Well that's nice." Harry said trying to sneak off.

"You know how the next task involves being underwater for an hour well I found a spell that can help." Dib said giving Harry a piece of paper.

"Ummmm thanks... Wasn't your sister just here?" Harry asked as he noticed the other sibling had disappeared... ewwwwwww...

"Man that's spooky."


	14. Chapter 14

All right I have cloned the goat several times so please pick up your complementary cloned goat on the way out J/k

Chapter 14: So That's What Happened to Em.

"Have you guys seen Gaz?" Dib said as he joined Neville and Seamus on the stands awaiting the second task.

"No and I haven't seen 'Mione or Ron either." Seamus answered.

"Would you like a Poop?" Neville said in a daze.

"What kind of Poop do you got?" Dib asked.

"Classic Poop, Diet Poop, Cheri Poop, and Salted Poop."

"I'll take a Diet Poop." Dib said as Neville handed him a can. "Thanks."

"Would you like a Poop?"

"I don't know what's wrong with Longbottom, ever since he talked to Harry and Zim he's been all weird." Seamus observed.

"IT MUST BE THE UNCANNY SIDE EFFECTS OF PUSTULIO!" Dib said as he pulled out his wand. "Pustulio Soit Allé!"

"Dib... Would you like a Poop?" Neville said still tranced.

"That's better." Dib said as he sat down.

"All right GIR! What amazing spell do you have cooked up to help you win this second task?" Zim asked as the champions arrived on the platform.

"Well... I-I..."

"You aren't prepared are you?" Zim asked unsurprisingly.

"Well..."

"At least you don't need to breath."

"Yes I do."

"What!"

"I DO THIS !" Gir said as he expanded his lungs in and out dramatically.

"YOU BREATH!"

"I do."

"Well good thing I came prepared I have conjured this potion... It'll turn you into a platypus." Zim said as he handed the potion to the champion.

"Ohhhh... Dreams really do come true!" Gir said as a tear left his eye.

"So do you have something ready Harry?" Cedric asked as he readied himself for the swim.

"Well Dib gave me this spell..." Harry started when Cedric gave a snort.

"I-I'm sorry... good luck!" Cedric said giving his fellow Hogwarts student a thumbs up.

"Thanks." Harry said as he got the spell out of his pocket and thought _I'm going to need it_.

"Are the champions ready?" Dumbldoore announced.

"Uh-huh." Gir responded.

"Hey Wu-hu what do you say when your excited?" A Ravenclaw back at the stand asked the first year.

"WUUUUUUUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"All right, all right. GO!" Dumbldoore said as Gir drank the potion which made him grow a beak and a thick tail.

"YEAH!" Gir said as he and all the other competitors dived in.

"Here goes nothing... Machen Sie Mich Zu Einen Wal!" Harry said pointing his wand at himself. At first nothing happened and then the platform began to rumble and Harry hadn't noticed he was getting bigger and a small hole on his back and fins had grown where his hand and feet where.

"**DIB! A WHALE YOU TURNED ME INTO A BLOODY WHALE! IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU**... glurp glrup." Harry said very deep throated, being a whale and all, diving into the lake.

* * *

Being a whale wasn't too bad. Harry was moving at extreme speeds in the lakes passing both the Shark turned Viktor, and Platypus Gir. _Well I guess this will be all right. _Harry thought though he still could not see Cedric. 

_Magical Flashbacky Thing_

"Gaven is a master of spells. He also has the Oracle Sword that allows him to travel at tremendous speed underwater." Gaz said in his head.

_No. No He Probably knows a good propelling spell._ Harry thought as room in the underwater catacombs started to tighten around him.

"**I'M STUCK!**" Harry screamed out this time in wale song as he noticed Cedric pulling a suspended Gaz free. He then noticed that Hermione, Ron and Crookshanks were in the same predicament. "**OH SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO EM!**"

Cedric, still holding Gaz, swam to the giant whale and started to blast away the ruins that were holding Harry with his wand but the magic didn't seem to be doing very much. Then The two other champions tried to get through the gaps that Harry was creating but they too got stuck.

"I'M GETTING CRUSHED BY A GIANT WHALE!" Gir led aloud flopping his tail.

Cedric and Harry then looked at the tail noting that it was wedging Gir free. "**GIR YOUR TAIL, USE YOUR TAIL TO SET US FREE!"**

"You wanna do backflips off of a kangaroo?" Gir asked.

Then the two boys... well Cedric and Whale Harry waved their hands, well a flipper in Harry's case imitating the tail.

"YOU WANNA MAKE FLAPJACKS!" Gir said as they shook their heads.

"**GIR! DO THE DONUT DANCE!**"Harry said still in whale song.

"Oh! DO THE DONUT DANCE!" Gir said understanding some how... And then he started to squirm and like a platypusy saw of doom released them all free from the ancient relic. After that it was total chaos each champion, except Cedric, swimming desperately for their missing friend.

"Oh, I-I missed you!" Gir said as he gave the cat a squeeze and started up.

Viktor had already got Hermione free when Harry set Ron free and started to the surface but since of his mass he started to pick up everyone else except Cedric who had already made it to the surface. Suddenly they were all back on the surface except all the other competitors and the captives were on top of Harry.

"Oh hi... Thank you." Hermione said blushing to Viktor who had transformed back.

"No problem." Viktor said as Ron ,noting this, whispered something to Gir.

"MOOFY!" Gir screamed holding out Crookshanks.

"That's nice." Hermione said enthralled by thechampion,ignoring the robot and her cat who was shaking in the cold.

"Ohhhhh." Gir said lifting his shoulders to Ron who then snapped his fingers.

"I was the something they took?" Gaz asked Cedric on the platform.

"Of course it had to be something precious to me." Cedric said giving her a wink and grabbing towels for the two of them.

"All right... Now I can die happy."

"Now to announce the winner. In first place Cedric Diggory!" Dumbldore said as both Gaz and Amos lifted his arms into the air, which was a challenge for little Gaz who was more or less just being lifted by them.

"Well everyone else was more or less riding on top of Harry so he gets second place!" Dumbldore continued as the crowd went wild Harry responded by letting out a blast of water out of the hole in his back.

"WUUUUUUUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Good job Harry!" Dib let out loud but in response all he got was a dirty look from one angry whale Dib then gave a nervous wave and slumped in the bleachers.


	15. Chapter 15

You guys are nice :)!

Chapter 15: Things Are Going Well... A Little Too Well

"Well Viktor is... Such a Physical Being." Hermione said to Gaz as they looked off the bridge.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gaz asked as Gir arrived.

"IT MEANS SHE THINKS HE'S SUPER HOT! He makes her go huba huba. He makes her go meow meow. He makes her go awoooga awooga..."

"Yes we all get the picture." Hermione said interrupting the little robot.

"He makes her go..."

"GIR!" Hermione said mimicking the robot's master.

"WUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOO!" A voice was heard from a far.

"That's what I was going to say!" Gir added.

"Well he is very...uhumm... attractive." Hermione said blushing just a bit. "So Gaz how would you say you fill about Cedric?"

"He makes her..." Gir said as Gaz put her hand out to stop him.

"...I THINK HE'S SUPER HOT! He makes me go huba huba. He makes me go meow meow. He makes me go awooga awooga. He makes me go WUUUUUUUUHOOOOOOOOOO!" Gaz screamed as Cedric joined on the bridge making Gaz and Hermione both scarlet as Ron's hair.

"Hello. I was just going to ask you if you were going to be watching tomorrow during the third task?" Cedric asked Gaz who now had a little drool passing her lips.

"Yes..." Gaz said as if she was under the effects of Pustulio.

"Will you meet my father when the task starts?"

"Of course.. I will be counting the moments..." Gaz said as Cedric left with a wink.

"There's something in that wink isn't there." Hermione said as the three watched him from afar as Dib and Harry approached the hypnotized group. "But isn't he a bit old for you?"

"She's 16." Dib said scratching his chin.

"What?" Everyone but Dib and Gaz said aloud.

"You guys didn't know?" Gaz said as Dib scratched furiously at his scalp.

"If she's 16, how old are you?" Harry asked Dib.

"17."

"You don't look 17." Hermione said doubtingly as Dib scratched as if trying to break through it.

"I am." Dib said as the others looked at each other.

"I'M 42!" Gir said raising his hand.

"Harry do you know what's wrong with Dib?" Hermione whispered to Harry, as Dib was now rolling on the ground trying to use it to itch.

"Ohhh It's pay back for turning me into a whale, Fred and George gave me this itching powder." Harry whispered back giving a small snicker.

"Harry!... That's hilarious." Hermione said giving a giggle.

"Hermione! Maybe we looked at all these weird kids coming here this year as a bad thing." Harry said as Gaz scoffed.

"Where standing right here." Gir said sounding falsely offended.

"Oh if it isn't little Gaz!" Cho said confronting her.

"Oh if it isn't... errr what's her name?" Gaz asked Dib who was still rolling on the ground.

"Cho Chang. Ohhhhh THE ITCHING!"

"Oh if it isn't Cho Chang."

"Have you forgotten are duel. It was for the love of Cedric Diggory FOREVER?" Cho said pointing her finger directly in Gaz's face.

"Your finger smells funny! Besides In the great dueling book and the Legend of Gaibon source book. It says the loss of a magical duel is forfeited if the loser is chosen by the reason of the duel in a sporting event." Gaz said as she slapped the finger out of her face.

" Wow! That's awfully specific." Harry said as he watched Dib use the railing of the bridge to itch.

"OH! YOU! MEAT!" Cho said searching her pockets for something.

" There is something oddly familiar with that girl." Dib said in between itching.

"Hey! Where is my wand!"

"Ohh you lookin for this?" Gir said as he pulled out a wand covered in something slimy and handed it to Cho.

"What did you DO?" Cho demanded.

"Well I had to use something to blow my nose duh." Gir said as the others looked at him.

"Where is it?" Hermione asked.

"What?"

"Your nose?"

"It's where everyone's is. RIGHT HERE!" Gir said as he pointed at his butt.

"GYAHHHH!" Cho said as she threw it on the ground and every one but Gir used all they had in them to prevent from vomiting.

"What?" Gir said lifting his shoulders.

"If it wasn't for the itching distracting my stomach..." Dib said as an owlcame and scratchedhis back. "Oh thanks."

"Oh things may be going well for you now... a little too well... but tomorrow! Ah tomorrow we shall soon see your true fates!" Cho said menacingly.

"Ummmm we are all standing right here." Hermione said to Cho who was more or less in her own little world.

"What was that?" Cho said as she used her sleeve to pick up her wand.

"You just were all, tomorrow your all doomed or whatever." Harry responded now giving the girl he usual thought was cute a look at the wand that was still dripping with a green substance.

"Gyaaaaaahhh!" Cho said keeping the wand at a distance as she ran away.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry I haven't been updating more I've been busy

Chapter 16: Through the Maze

"OH AT LAST, GIR IT comes to this..." Zim said as he shook his comrade and champion as they entered the stadium that held the last tri-wizard task.

"Comes to what?" Gir said as his head continued to shake after Zim had stopped.

"Gir when I talk what exactly do you hear?"

_Magical Re-enactment_

"Hey!" a teenage guy wearing a red ball cap.

"What's up?" a teenage guy with a blue ball cap.

"Hey!"

"What's up?"

Gir then came out of his introspective smiling widely at Zim as though Zim said nothing. "Hi!"

"Oh' hello..." Zim responded poutingly.

Gaz entered the field and made her way to Cedric and his father. "You made it!"

"Yes I just wanted to tell you good luck...or whatever." Gaz said trying to sound more uncaring then she had been the last couple of days. "If you don't win because they cheated or whatever I will make each one of them wish they were never born."

"That's... nice..." Cedric said with a smile.

"Oh yeah that reminds me."

_Magical Re-enactment._

"And now for their last number... well...maybe.. The Legend of Gaibon and their enactment of the _Dungeon Block Tango_." Dib said as Gaz, Gaven, Gir, and Zim where in a dark dungeon with dripping water.

"Slash." Gaven said in a cold voice.

"Uh-huh." Gir said smiling.

"Kick." Gaz said in an even more cold voice.

"Swish bwhahahahahaha!" Zim said bellowing.

"Slash!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Kick!"

"Swish Bwhahahahaha!"

"It had it coming! It had it coming all along! If you had seen it, that ugly monster! How could you tell me that I was wrong?" They all started to sing.

"So here I was in my village of Gaps, and this giant wild bore monster comes rampaging at me. I told him to stop and that's what he did into my fist." Gavin said rhythmically.

"It had it coming all along!" They sang aloud. "Slash! Uh-huh! Kick! Swish! BWHAHAHAHA!"

"Well one day I was going like this do-de-do-de-do-do-do! And then I went la, la, la, la." Gir stated to his other dungeon mates.

"But Gir did you save the day or something?" Dib asked him.

"Ummm Uh-huh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"So I was like swimming or whatever." Gaz started.

"You swim?" her brother asked.

"YES DON'T INTERRUPT ME! So I was swimming and playing with my rubber piggy..." Gaz continued.

"You have a rubber piggy?" Dib interrupted again as Gaz began to pummel him.

"Slash, Uh-huh, Swish Bwhahahaha!" The other continued to sing.

"Unlike you FILTHY humans I did not "save the day" I was unleashing a terrible ham demon upon the village of Gaps..." Zim started.

"Wait a minute." Gaven said as he began to pummel Zim.

"Uh-huh!" Gir sang alone. "La la la la do-de-do-de-do-de!"

"Wait that was kind of dumb." Gaz added as she drifted from her day dream with Cedric nodding in return.

"All right come over here champions!" Dumbledore sais as the four champions gathered around him. " Now my young friends when you enter into the maze..."

"What Maze?" Gir asked.

"That maze." Dumbledore said pointing to the hedge maze.

"This one!" Gir said holding out a hand held maze with a metal marble.

"No."

"This one?" Gir asked again holding out a game slave with a maze on it.

"No."

"Hey give me that!" Gaz said taking the game from the robot.

"How 'bout that one!" Gir said pointing at a labyrinth guarded by a Minotaur.

"When did we put that in? No it's the hedges the hedge maze." Dubledore explained.

"So where's the maze?" Gir asked with a smile.

"Oh just follow the others!" Dumbledore said as the champions entered the hedges each one going there own way.

Harry walked silently through the hedges hearing wisps of wind pass through it grew on his nerved until, "I'M ON FIRE!" Gir blazing on fire was bursting through the foliage.

"That's cheating!" Harry said as he followed through the hedges.

"I-I Like being on fire." Gir said as he attracted the other three champions

"He's cheating! I eat cheaters for breakfast!" Krum said with a puff of air.

"Eww! I've never been breakfast before!" Gir said as he and Krum tripped nearing the cup and putting the inflamed Gir out.

"Well there it is." Cedric said to Harry as the two stood over the other unconscience competitors.

"Yep." Harry responded.

"Do you want to split it?" Cedric asked.

"Ok." Harry nodded as both held the cup as the were transported into a cemetery. "This doesn't look good."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Revelations

Harry had been here before in his darkest deepest nightmares. A cemetery right before entering the riddle estate, the lair of Lord Voldamort. The two competitors rose weary from the portkey's magical journey.

"Harry it's a portkey, the cup is a portkey." Cedric said as they heard a rustling in the near by brush.

"YES, YES it was MAGICAL!" Zim said as he and Gir arrived at the cemetery.

"How did you two get here?" Harry asked.

"It was by my sheer brilliance... How did we get here Gir?" Zim asked starting off proud and bold.

"I really don't know." the little robot responded.

"Well anyways I will be taking the cup and attaining ETERNAL GLORY!"

"NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Dib said as he and Gaz confronted the group.

"Well nobody cares if you have anything to say about it DIB!" Zim retaliated.

"I care." Gir said waving at Dib who gave a small smile in return.

"I really don't like you... Hey how'd you guys get here anyway?"

"Well you see... how did we get here?" Dib asked Gaz who shrugged in return.

"Oh no everyone get out of here!" Harry said as Peter Pedigrew holding the small shriveled form of Voldamort came out of one of the mausoleums.

"Hey how did you all get here?" Pedigrew asked the group who all lifted there arms up in a shrug.

"ALL OF YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" Cho said as she came out of the shadows.

"It's, it's... what's her name again?" Gaz asked her brother.

"Cho Chang."

"Cho Chang!"

"Actually the real Cho Chang has been captured in my whirlwind bottle since before the beginning of this year, so let me re-introduce myself." She said as she took her hand and waved it in front of her body revealing her true form. "I AM TAK THE IRKEN INVADER!"

"TAK I should have smelled you through that STUPID Disguise!" Zim said threatingly.

"You mean..." Cedric started.

"You've been Cho..." Harry took after.

"This entire year!" The two finished together.

"YES!" Tak said proudly as the two hunched over vomiting thinking of her bug like form. "HEY! I AM BEAUTIFUL!"

"Oh poor Tak, you've been rejected by even these FILTHY humans! How does that make you feel?" Zim rubbed in her face with a laugh.

"Oh, I may feel bad now but I will be wonderful when I take the cup to the all mighty Tallest, to use as a snack dish."

"Hey why didn't I think of that?" Zim said rubbing the chin of Pustulio.

"Because it's stupid." Gaz said as she moved closer to Cedric.

"It is pretty dumb." Dib added.

"Hey remember me the evil dark lord here to destroy your homes and liveliness..." The shriveled voice said. "Wormtail kill them all."

"Ok... which one first?"

"The small robot... he frightens me."

"_Avada Kedabra_!" Wormtail said as a green bolt hit Gir making him hit the ground

"YOU KILLED MY ROBOT!" Zim said as he attacked the rat like man who dropped both the wand and his master.

"Ewww... I'm nutty for chocolate clusters." Gir said as he got up and waved his hands.

"Gir! Your not dead!" Zim said kind of thrilled. "Wait!"

"Aww that's a goood laaaddd." Gir said with a glitch.

"_Avada Kedabra_! " Wormtail said a second time as he picked up the wand and used it on the robot.

Instead of falling this time Gir gave a small twitch and then out of nowhere brought out a small kitchen set and started to mix something. "First we want to bast the tacos in a raspberry sauce... for ten minutes and then KABLAMMY YOU EAT EM!... And that's a good thing."

Wormtail again tried to use the killing curse as the others looked mildly amused while for a brief moment Gir seemed to return to himself in his own little way by saying. "I love this show."

"Wormtail I'm frightened just kill the thing." Voldamort said as the other man kept trying with a wide variety of different responses.

"I am Hammy Ham! The Pig wonder coming to saaave the day!" Gir said putting on a ham suit.

"I like Hammy Ham." Gaz added.

Then the Deatheater placed the curse on the robot one last time... With it where Gir's luminescent blue eyes turned a ghastly shade of green and two leathery wings spread from his back. And neon energy crackled at his fingertips.

"**Enough! Rat man! You and your TINYfriend have got in my way for the last time!**" Gir said in a deep unnatural voice that seemed to come from the very earth itself rather than his mouth. And with it he let a bolt of energy at Wormtail and his master turning Wormtail into his animagus form and Voldamort into a monkey in which the master began to chase after his slave.

"So this was your plan then to take the cup and turn your robot into some super... robot...thing?" Harry interrogated to Zim.

"What are you talkin... why yes it was my plan. A very good plan." Zim said with a small chuckle."A PLAN OF ZIM!"

"It was not his plan." A voice said in the bushes. "It was mine."

"Wuho?" Dib said with a gasp as the boy same from the shadows.

"No! Wuho is only my cover for in reality I am!" Wuho said as he, in similar fashion to Tak, revealed his true form that of a mangled beat up robot. "Mimi! Tak's robot assistant!"

"I THREW YOU AWAY WHEN YOU STARTED TO DANCE IN MY SHIP!... Well how've you been?" Tak said to her former assistant.

"Oh! I have waited long for this moment you threw me out like garbage, well who's the garbage now? Who's the garbage now?"

"Still you." Dib said matter of factly.

"I may not be much to look at but when I relanded on this planet surviving the hot atmosphere and the crash landing I knew that my day would come to liberate my people. I learned magic secretly in this very school! And then..."

"Get on with it." Gaz interrupted.

"Well anyway I became magical and learned one important thing."MiMi continued as Gaz looked at her watch. "This killing curse does not work on robot's! It makes em stronger especially ones who are how should I put this... dumb as a post! I picked him to free the robots and control the world with me."

"Well it makes sense, there's a lot of room in there for extra magic things." Zim said curiously.

"Join with me Gir! And show this planet a dookie it's never seen before!"Mimi proposed.

"**Boring!" **Gir said as he lifted the other robot into the sky and propelled him into outer space.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuhoooooooooo!" Was heard for the last time as Gir gestured for the next person to come and face him.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Dark Gir Lord of Magic

"Gir! There must be some part of you still left inside of you!" Dib pleaded with the monstrous looking robot.

"No Dib, your FILTHY human heart is lying to you, I don't think any part of Gir is inside there." Zim said in aw.

"**In place of a dark lord you shall have me! Not Dark but beautiful and terrible as dookie. Treacherous as a three bean burrito! Stronger than the foundations of the skool. All shall love me and despair!" **Gir said as energy crackled about him.

"Don't you mean or despair?" Dib asked.

"**Yeah sure." **

"You were saying." Dib said to his alien adversary.

"All right so I've been wrong before. LOOK DIB! As much as it pains me to do so we must team up for the first time to stop Gir!" Zim said squaring off with his rival.

"What do you mean the first time we've teamed up a lot of times. The time we turned into bologna, the time we joined together to defeat Tak..."

"YOUR LYING!"

"All right for the sake of saving time how about we all team up... FOR THE FIRST TIME!" Tak said curling her hands into fists.

"Yeah sounds good." The others said together in a boring kind of rumble.

"**_Iperfascio_**." Gir said letting out a beam of energy at his former master in which he barely got out of the way of.

"BAD GIR! I AM YOUR MASTER! _Brengopdegeit_!" Zim said as a goat came rushing towards the empowered Gir.

"**Sviluppisiegiri**!" Gir said as the goat grew bigger and then turned and ran after Zim.

"Well that's not good." Zim said as he ran away in terror.

"Éclatez!" Tak said as a big explosion hit Gir but when the smoke cleared Gir hovered there unaffected.

"**Ewww! That was a good one!"** Gir said as he put his hands together forming a ball of energy. "**Faccia il ballo della guarnizione di gomma piuma**!"

With Gir's spell Tak began to twirl in circles excessively. "IIIIII haaaaattteee yyyyouuuu!"

Zim was chased for many miles by the giant goat and he hoped that he learned more than just the one spell. In order to survive he must sacrifice something.'

"Good bye... Pustulio!" Zim said as he popped his zit at the giant goat which drenched in the vile concoction returned to his normal size and started to eat some nearby grass.

Cedric then came to face Gir back in the cemetery holding his wand out he let out. "_Locomotor Mortis_!"

Gir then let out a wail as he legs joined together and he fell to the ground. The earth shook terribly as he fell causing the others to trip and fall. Gir crept up unlocking the curse Cedric had placed on him and then let out a bolt at him. "**_Ombra Nocturne_!**"

"I can't see!" Cedric said as Gaz came in front of him. "Use the gabby of song."

"What?" Gaz responded hearing the words that where all to familiar to her.

"Corner, circle, up, back!"

Gaz than attempted to do so cornering herself next to a tombstone dodging blasts from Gir. She then circled around him jumped up and buried his face into the ground. Gir than let out a blast from his back knocking Gaz off of him and turned her into a little pig.

"Dib I have an idea I'll be back!" Harry said using the portkey to teleport.

"**Your all alone DIB! I have won the earth will be destroyed!" **Gir said pleased with himself.

"Much to learn you still have!" Dib said as he opened his jacket and his wand flew out of one of his pockets into his hand.

"**_Iperfascio_**." Gir said letting out a wave at the boy who dodged it without much care.

"_Preludidiluce!_" Dib said as a beam of light hit the once innocent robot.

"**_Acqua Serenade!_**" Gir said as water drenched the Dib holding him to the ground.

"_Requiem dell spirito!_" Dib said as beams warded off the weight of the water.

"**How long do you think you will last Dib? I am forever and magically delicious! And you're a big head boy!" **

"What's that have to do with anything?" Dib said as Harry returned with his hands behind his back.

"Gir I have something for you." Harry said kneeling before Gir.

"**See Dib the Potter boy already knows his place he's bringing me toys!**"

"I think you'll want this." Harry said pulling Crookshanks from his bake.

"Moofy... **No I am magically delicious!"** Gir said confused.

"No Gir W.W.M.D?" Dib said getting Harry's plan.

"W.W.M.D?" Harry whisperingly asked.

"What would Moofy do." Dib responded.

"**But magically delicious!... **Moofy!" Gir said as his wings grew back into his back and his green eyes returned back into blue. "I am sorry Moofy do you forgive me?"

The cat then jumped down from Harry's arms and started to lick Gir, "Awww he likes me."


	19. Chapter 19

I had no idea her robot's name was MiMi (wishing for emoticon to express shocked expression) did they ever say it in the show if so I have major problems. Well I'm going to include a chapter (episode) thing for a story I've been thinking of in which Zim puts Gir into an institution to try to take over the world and it's pretty much a crossover with everything and Gir is involved in a group therapy group that includes; Gir (IVZ), Gollum (lord of the rings), Drusilla (Buffy the vampire slayer), Dobby (Harry Potter), and Wobbuffett (Pokemon). I wanted to know if I should do the entire story so just tell me what you think of it.

Chapter 19: End of the Year

"And we must all remember Gir La Gir we must all remember his...her...it's ability to be kind and his fierce, fierce love of cats, and you will honor him in death as you did in life." Dumbledore said to the gathered Hogwarts students.

"I'm standing right here!" Gir said as getting up and waving his hand.

"I know... that's what he would say, that is what he says in out hearts." Dumbledore continued.

"No Professor Dumbledore he's right there." Dib said pointing to the robot who was now running and screaming through out the hall.

"It may seem that way Dim.."

"My name is Dib... And Gir is playing in your beard." Dib said as the little robot was swimming in and out of the elderly man's facial hair.

"He will always play in my beard Bib always." Dumbledore said as he went off and the masses dispensed out of the hall and outside...While Gir was waving drastically in the Wizards face unnoticed.

"Do you think we will ever have a normal year here?" Hermione said as she Harry, Ron, Dib, Gaz and Zim walked together.

"What's life without it's dragons?" Ron replied.

"Yes what is life without these D-R-A-G-O-N-S... just meat, yes meat here at Saws-R-Us where I enjoy being a lumber jack." Zim said rubbing his cheek where the second Pustulio died.

"Yes we all love it here... at...Saws-R-Us I also enjoy being a lumber jack." Harry said as the others tried not to giggle.

"I know Potter boy I will miss you too. The past year here at Sr. Toasted Berry Drink has been memorable. YOU FILTHY HUMANS!"

"It's been a whole year... There's 365 days that I'll never be able to get back." Gaz said as Cedric joined the group.

"Gaz you are going to write to me aren't you?" He said to the antisocial kid...teen...person.

"... What was that your lips where moving but I was to busy watching them to pay attention to what you were saying." Gaz said still in a gaze.

"I'M FREE CEDRIC IT's ME! CHO!" Cho said ruffled from being stuck in a bottle all year.

"GET BACK HERE MEAT!" Tak said as she chased the girl.

"Here I have a present for you." Cedric said as he got out a sword and gave it to Gaz.

"The... Sword...of Shiny... Pet Care?" Gaz said as she received the sword and Cedric left giving her a kiss on the cheek.

The rest of the group looked at each other with shocked expressions as Hermione said. "No... it's impossible physically magically impossible!"

"Gaven..." Gaz said as drool fell like a waterfall out of her mouth.

"Ok... I'm an evil alien and everything... but that's just... not right."

"Aww I think it's sweet." Gir said starring at Gaz with a smile.

"If you keep doing that I will show you the total definition of pain." Gaz said getting out of her daze.

"Well I guess it was nice meeting you guys I guess." Harry said giving Dib a hand shake.

"IT Was SO Great meeting you! Harry Potter!" Dib said as he scared the Potter boy back a few steps. "Too much?"

"A little bit."

"Gir... what have you done with Crookshanks?" Hermione said as she noticed her cat was missing.

"I don't have em." Gir said with his hands beneath his back.

"Then where is he?" Hermione said crossing her arms.

"I don't know..."

"Really?"

"Yep!"

Hermione then took Gir by the head and turned him to his back where Crookshanks was softly purring. She then took the cat back. "Thank you."

"Your welcome." Gir said turning around and smiling.

"Well I guess we shall see you all next year. You UNDESIRABLE FILTH!" Zim said as he and Gir started for there ship.

"Were REALLY coming back?" Gir said excited.

"I-I don't know."

Dedicated to

Leland Hans Denison

1933-2006

Diagnoses: Insanity

Episode 1: Psychological Exam

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!" Zim screeched while his alien spaceship sent giant explosions onto the earth.

"So um... what exactly are we doing?" His tiny blue robot Gir asked while scratching his head.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS?" Zim said flailing his hands at his assistant. "I am an a-l-i-e-n and not only an alien I am AN IRKEN INVADER! And what do invaders do? Hmmm?"

"Umm give me a second... ummm it's on the tip of my head..."

"You don't know do you?"

"Wait a second almost have it almost ERRRRGH!" Gir said as he started to pound his hands on the ground. "Allllmooosst... what did you ask again?"

"WE INVADE! INVADERS INVADE! I am an invader so I am thusly invading these STUPID HUMANS!"

"Oh I get it now... So ummm what are we doing again?" Gir said as Zim slumped over the controls with a sigh.

"I like to sing! La la la la la la la la!" Gir started to sing unbeknownst to the grief of his master.

"What did I do to deserve this? I always thought I was a good Irken... well except for the whole invading the Earth and being umm full of alien evil..."

"La La La! Hey I just remembered something!"

"Well why don't you stop bothering me and tell someone who cares!"

"Ok." Gir said as he went into the back and came back with a telephone and started to call someone.

"Who are you calling?"

"You said to tell someone who cares jeesh!" Gir said as the other line started to ring.

"Fine keep your secrets, I knew I should have kept that zit thing. Who cares, I guess I shall return to CONQUERING THESE STUPID HUMANS!" Zim said as he halfheartedly played with the controls.

The phone kept ringing and as each ring rang Zim curiosity drifted him further and further from his work until it began to gnaw at him like a knife in the gut. This continued as whoever was on the receiving end was kept from answering. It then became to much and Zim's blood began to rise... _Wait a minute who does Gir know?_ He then was full engaged in his "work".

"Umm hello Dib! YES THIS IS ME! Ummmm just thought you should know Zim's about to destroy the Earth using his MIGHTY shipy... thing... We are about twenty seconds from the school... almost there... almost... WERE HERE!... Your Welcome." Gir said as he hung up the phone.

"So who were you talking to?" Zim asked not paying much attention.

"Oh just Dib."

"Oh that's nice... WHAT! YOU ARE CONFESSING MY MOST DIABOLICAL PLANS WITH MY MOST HATED ENEMY DIB?"

"Well he is the only other person I know."

"All right Gaz it's only you and me. We are all that is left that stand between Earth and the Irken empire!" Dib said as he and his sister stood at the front of the school.

"Oh, how exciting." Gaz said dripping with venom and sarcasm.

"Here he comes! Gaz WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?" Dib screeched in horror as his sister pulled out a water balloon and threw it at the alien craft causing it to fall to the ground and crash.

"THAT WAS FUN CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?" Gir exclaimed as he jumped out of the craft.

"SO DIB! You win this round but I shall return, OH AND MY VENGEANCE SHALL BE GREAT!" Zim said as he removed a piece of debris from his clothes.

"You have something on your neck." Gaz said flatly.

"What is it?" As Zim frantically checked his neck.

"Your head... maybe you should get it removed."

"C'mon Gaz we have to go to the asylum now were people are locked up like they are supposed to be." Dib said giving a look at his alien adversary.

"What is this asylum and why are they locked up there?" Zim said scratching his chin.

"It's were people who are I-N-S-A-N-E go. We have to go help out or whatever as a school project." Gaz said twitching at the thought of being helpful.

"And how long do people stay at this asylum?" Zim asked intrigued.

"Well it depends..." Dib started until something excited Gir.

"WHOOOOOHOOOOOOO! I'm going home and making french toast and cupcakes!"

"I don't think they would ever let him out." Dib said as he and his melancholy sister departed.

"THAT'S IT I'M A GENIUS! GENIUS!" Zim exclaimed when his mortal enemy was out of earshot.

"Are we going to dress up like clowns and scream like a crazy person!"

"No Gir." Zim said bluntly.

"Oh man."

"Gir your crazy..." Zim said as his assistant looked at him blankly. "We shall send you to this asylum to keep an eye on the FILTHY Dib. And I shall join this school project... maybe I could get extra credit I'm failing math."

"Awww that's too bad... So what are we doing?"

"Don't worry where we're going you'll fit right in."

Zim and Gir walked into the Asylum door way where one of the nurses directed them to the head of emissions office. As they traveled the corridors Gir became skittish as various screams came from the other room causing him to leap into his master's arms, in which he responded by dropping him harshly onto the ground. Then they finally arrived at the office to find... _Ms. Bitters!_

"Yes I run the asylum, now sit down!" Bitters said with a hiss. "Now which of you is of need of the psychological exam."

Zim raised the little robot's arm up as Bitter's continued. "So what do you have to say for your defense?"

Gir then gasped ready with an argument to claim his sanity then Bitter's quickly said, "This one is clearly insane!"

"But I didn't say anything."

"I know... DIB!" Bitter's screeched as Dib entered the room.

"ZIM!"

"DIB!"

"GIR!" Gir exclaimed as the other two boys stared each other down.

"ENOUGH! Dib you will take Gir to meet the others in his group. While I talk to Zim about how he can earn some extra credit, he's flunking math now go! Go!"

"Ok Gir this is the group." Dib said as he sat the robot in front of a group of four others. One A gnarled bald creature, another small with pointy ears, one a woman with long black hair and a red dress, and the last some sort of blue thing with a black tail.

"Ok This is Gollum... or ummm Smeagol. He um has spilt personalities."

"Well hello my precious, are you tirxy? Are you rotten? Nasty? Huh PRECIOUS!" Gollum said right in front of Gir's face.

"Well I don't think so."

"That's what they all say don't they precious? Yes trixy, nasty, false!"

"Ok moving on this is Dobby, he has separation issues he was once employed by these people and someone gave him clothes or something and has lost his groove." Dib said as the shaky figure came up to Gir.

"It's very nice to meet you... Do you want some tea? Or maybe Dobby can clean your room a bit when it get's messy?"

"Ok!"

"OH Dobby is happy!" Dobby said as he sat down.

"This is Drusilla, well she is just plain undeniably insane, oh and she likes to bite people." Dib said rubbing his neck.

"Oh sorry about that... My tummy was growling like a little piggy. Oink, Oink."

"I LIKE HER!" Gir said jumping up and down.

"When I look into you I can hear the ocean."

"Aww... she likes me too."

"Ok and last but not least... This is Wobbuffet ummm I don't know what to say about him."

"Oh we do my precious may we do it, may we do it!" Gollum said jumping up and down.

"Fine." Dib said as the lights went out.

"Prepares for troubles my precious." Gollum said as a spotlight fell on him. "And make it doubles. To protect the world from devastation. To unites each nation with the precious. To denounce the evils of nasty hobbitesses. To extend our reaches to wiggly fishes. Gollum. Smeagol. Team Precious blasts off like a Wraith out of Morgul. So gives us the precious or prepares to fights."

"Dobby, that's right." Dobby said jumping in the air.

"Wobbuffet."

"HMMMM." Drusilla added striking a Madonna-esque pose and then the lights came back on.

"Well I guess that explains Wobbuffet." Dib said with a sigh.

"No it doesn't."

"Your right, but every time Wobbuffet meets someone they have to do that... It's kind of stupid." Dib explained.

"Wobbufet likes to play games, we all have pretty little games all lined up for you my sweet." Drusilla said holding the robot's hand.

"EWWW Like hopscotch!" Gir said as Drusilla took him to the rest of the group.

"It has begun... Gir has infiltrated these crazy people... the Earth is as good as mine." Zim said as he looked on spookily.

"What was that?" Dib asked.

"Oh nothing... nothing at all..."

And I want to thank..

Sanoon, Spicers apple, MentosDemon, Purple almighty, FallenAngel331, Speciall Ed, Chickens,

War292004, Ice-Spirit Phoenix,Seiitsuno Megami, FallenLex, Superdork398


End file.
